the rural barber shop

One of the most dreaded items in my list of things to do when I go to my village is a visit to the local barber shop. Well, my fright is not confined to the shop in my village, its the same when I travel to any rural place in North India. Most of the rural barber shops have the same setting and atmosphere...

The shop:
You come across a small dingy shop with a hand painted board (usually done by an amateur) displaying the name of the shop in English/Hindi. Some examples "Vinod Hare Cuting Saloon", "Jai Mata di Parlor", "Om Prakash and sons" "Saawariya" etc... Once you gaze past this, you come across one/two well worn out hair cutting chairs, even more worn our mirrors on the wall and some rotting wooden benches to sit on, while you await your turn. "Maxii Shaving Cream" "Pintu Shaving gel" "Roma After shave" "Ponds fairness powder" adorn the shelf like trophies. The fan is set to move at its fastest, which is too slow for your comfort, but the groan created by the slow whirring tells you that its not the fan's fault. As if the fan is trying to tell you "So what if I am old, I am trying my best!!" Whatever space is available on the walls usually is taken up by hair style posters of the 60s and 70s (figure 2). On one corner of the wall is where the Gods reside. Assorted idols/photos of various Gods/Goddesses with a fresh garland around them is a common sight in such shops.

The barber:
In North India, 9 out of 10 times you will run into the barber described below.
Rural barbers are early risers. No matter however early you visit their shop, there they are, freshly bathed with neatly oiled and combed hair. Also irrespective of the ongoing trend, the rural barber never messes with his original hairstyle(unlike cities). He will always have the same hairstyle which his mom gave him during his school days. Wearing an old fashioned sweater over his dull checked shirt and a formal pant with regular chappals, the roly poly (most of them have bulging waistlines) barber is not style conscious. However, 9/10 barbers carry mustaches and 10/10 barbers have red lips :) Their mouths are always full of gutkha/pan masala/pan. But this doesn't prevent them from speaking to their customers as they have mastered the art of speaking with their mouths full of this stuff (if you ignore the red juice leaking from their mouths). Unlike the city barbers, these guys are not perfectionists. They believe in just getting the job done. Few mistakes while shaving are normal and they still manage to have that satisfied look on their faces after giving you 2-3 cuts.

The haircut/shave:
"Which style?" he asks pointing to the poster before getting started on you. Good thing about the worn out dirty towel he has placed on you is that the dripping juices of the betel leaf he is eating don't fall on your clothes. Once the style has been decided, he gets on with his job. But not without the socializing :) A good barber manages to maintain conversation with the guy on the hot seat as well as every waiting customer. "You are not from here, are you?" spit!!
"No, I am from Bombay"
"Ahh , Bombay..whom are you visiting here?" spit!!
"XYZ..."
"Ahh, accha..Do they open barber shops this early in the city?."spit!!
"Nope"
With a grin.." Aah..they are not as hard working as us, these city barbers" spit!!
blah
blah
blah....
While this conversation is on, the snipping is on, then he uses the blade and finally the ponds powder before he dusts away the cut hair from your face n neck..
"There you are...haircut is done" spit!!
"The two sides, dont look even, the right side has more hair than the left." This hurts his ego!
He grabs the hair on both sides and checks the size. "You were moving a lot while I was cutting. However tThey are even" spit!!
"Also this haircut doesnt resemble the style that I chose"
"Its the same Babuji, you feel so since your face doesnt resemble that hair style model " spit!!
"Wtf.!! Anyways how much is it?!!"
 "30 rupees saar" spit!!
"30 bucks for haircut and shave..wonderful!" The same service would have cost 300 bucks in the city.

I manage to smile before I leave..