Tuesday, June 13, 2017

The Agile Circus

Yes, we have been stupid enough to implement Agile!!
The Agile framework is supposed to make you faster. And the framework in itself is not bad. The problem lies in the definition itself. Agile on its own is just a set of loose guidelines that the organization needs to follow. However, the implementation of Agile is left purely to the organization.
In general Humans are not too good at interpreting loose guidelines and implementing them for success.
The most relevant examples being our religious scriptures, which are nothing but a set of guidelines which show you the right path. However everyone interprets them as per their will and the end result is casteism, terrorism, "my religion is the best" wars and what not.

Coming back to Agile! There is a PO-Product Owner, TO-Technical Owner, EM-Engineering Manager and SM-Scrum Master. Then there are scrums, sprints and rituals like daily standup meeting, sprint review, sprint demo, etc.
The PO is supposed to give the customer requirements. The TOs break these down into technical user stories which the FCT teams delivers sprint on sprint. The EM is supposed to be obstacle resolver and the SM are the ones who conduct the rituals so that the team stays on track.

Well, sounds easy and fun. Break down requirements, keep delivering them!

In our organization, the implementation is exactly opposite.
1. The PO is more interested in the day to day affairs of the Sprint deliverables and keeps on harping about the bandwidth wastage.
2. The EM is an all encompassing piece of shit role who has not work, but finds work by asking PO not to interfere in his affairs.
3. SMs are ones who are whiling away their time waiting to be laid off with 6 months of compensation.
4. TOs are not able to scale due to the sheer size of the team.

Then there are:
1. TLs who keep complaining about everything that they see
2. The mini EMs who are good for nothing but are only there to keep on following the main EMs instructions.
3. The FCTs which are empowered and abuse this to the fullest.
4. The executive layer at top which is hell bent on proving that we are still successful.

Life is full of BS!! So is our Agile implementation!!

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