I speak to my dad once or twice a year. FYI, I am staying in another town where I work. I usually visit my parents every alternate weekend. Though I see him once in every fifteen days, we usually end up not talking to each other. We have been silent for hours and hours ignoring each others presence during the days when I am home.
It is not the 200 k.m. distance between us that makes communication difficult. Nor is there any strain or fight between us. Infact we have mutual admiration for each other, which I have come to know from some close sources. But somehow my free flowing tongue is locked when he is around. Is this what people call "generation gap"?
It was not always the same. I used to talk to him regularly when I was a kid. But I cant even remember when our relationship changed and we stopped communicating. Maybe I see myself smarter now and feel that he should initiate the conversations. For him maybe I am still a kid and he feels that I should initiate the conversations.
Whatever the reason may be, I have decided that from now on I will initiate conversations with him. I will remove the gap that has formed between us because of me.
Yesterday was his birthday, but I wasn’t home. I called him up and wished him and even asked him for a party. He absent mindedly said that I could have my party on the weekend when I come home. I am happy and I feel he is happy too.
I am looking forward to the party.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Bad day
I got up late today and missed my morning office bus. The only reason i get up at 6:45 a.m. everyday is to catch the 7:30 a.m. office bus. This bus takes 1/5th the time to reach office than the 9:00 a.m. bus which takes forty minutes to cover ten kms. The reason it takes five times more time to reach office is because four out of every five IT person has chosen this time (between 9 and 10) to reach the IT park (where my office is). Considering that more than 25k people work at the IT park, the only road which takes us to the IT park is overfilled with all kinds of vehicles during this hour.
Coming back to me getting up late! It was only 7:30 a.m. Ninety minutes to 9.00 a.m. I had a lot of time to kill and this added to my frustration. I decided to shave and then decided against it. I decided to take care of my sore throat. Turmeric milk early in the morning!! Unfortunately the quantity of milk I boiled was more than what I could digest. I ended up with a heavy stomach which I don’t prefer in the mornings. Switched on the T.V., scanned through a few channels and turned if off again. Somehow I cannot relate to T.V. in the mornings. Checked the time. 8:00 a.m. Decided to take a long, lazy shower. Was ready to leave by 8:30 a.m.
Decided to take a pit stop at the local chaiwalla to kill time despite my rumbling stomach (never again, turmeric milk in the morning). Had the usual cutting chai. Sent the usual good morning sms to my bunch of friends, finished the chai and reached my bus stop at 9:50 a.m. This is the time when buses for many companies leave and there is a lot of crowd at the bus stops. Good crowd! Had a good time bird watching!! Checked my cell phone for the time. 9:05 a.m.
All the birds flew away in sometime, but I was still standing here. Turned down a lift from an office colleague who commutes by car. Called up another colleague who boards the bus before me and heard the good news that bus will be late. So I waited and waited...till 9:15 when the bus finally arrived. It had a new driver who probably was the reason for the delay. Swearing under my breath I boarded the bus and within a few moments was fast asleep. A sudden jerk woke me up. Check the time again and the location too. 9:40…bad time to wake up! Traveling in the midst of heavy traffic and pollution. Another 15 minutes to go!!! Why the hell did I have to wake up at this point? Why is God so unkind to me? Amongst infinite such thoughts, I finally reached office at 10:00 a.m.
I was all set for breakfast. The early morning milk had settled down and my stomach was growling for food. But as it usually happens on a bad day, there was a long queue for breakfast. We had sandwiches for breakfast today. I glanced at the container in which the delicious (the usage of this word is due to extreme hunger) sandwiches were parked. I counted them. There were 6 sandwiches left in all. Then I counted the number of people in the queue who were ahead of me. Nine!! Damn it!! I called the canteen boy and brought this to his notice. He absent mindedly said that he had already noted this and placed an order for more sandwiches which will take fifteen more minutes to arrive.
I cursed out aloud and left the place. I decided to grab a quick bite at the near by restaurant. Finally at 10:30 a.m., I finally had my breakfast.
It has been more than three hours since I have woken up. Usually I am done with half of my day's work by this time. But today is different. I am having a bad day!!
But the good part is that I have decided to spend the day on my own terms. I will not do any work in office today.
I am feeling better already…
Coming back to me getting up late! It was only 7:30 a.m. Ninety minutes to 9.00 a.m. I had a lot of time to kill and this added to my frustration. I decided to shave and then decided against it. I decided to take care of my sore throat. Turmeric milk early in the morning!! Unfortunately the quantity of milk I boiled was more than what I could digest. I ended up with a heavy stomach which I don’t prefer in the mornings. Switched on the T.V., scanned through a few channels and turned if off again. Somehow I cannot relate to T.V. in the mornings. Checked the time. 8:00 a.m. Decided to take a long, lazy shower. Was ready to leave by 8:30 a.m.
Decided to take a pit stop at the local chaiwalla to kill time despite my rumbling stomach (never again, turmeric milk in the morning). Had the usual cutting chai. Sent the usual good morning sms to my bunch of friends, finished the chai and reached my bus stop at 9:50 a.m. This is the time when buses for many companies leave and there is a lot of crowd at the bus stops. Good crowd! Had a good time bird watching!! Checked my cell phone for the time. 9:05 a.m.
All the birds flew away in sometime, but I was still standing here. Turned down a lift from an office colleague who commutes by car. Called up another colleague who boards the bus before me and heard the good news that bus will be late. So I waited and waited...till 9:15 when the bus finally arrived. It had a new driver who probably was the reason for the delay. Swearing under my breath I boarded the bus and within a few moments was fast asleep. A sudden jerk woke me up. Check the time again and the location too. 9:40…bad time to wake up! Traveling in the midst of heavy traffic and pollution. Another 15 minutes to go!!! Why the hell did I have to wake up at this point? Why is God so unkind to me? Amongst infinite such thoughts, I finally reached office at 10:00 a.m.
I was all set for breakfast. The early morning milk had settled down and my stomach was growling for food. But as it usually happens on a bad day, there was a long queue for breakfast. We had sandwiches for breakfast today. I glanced at the container in which the delicious (the usage of this word is due to extreme hunger) sandwiches were parked. I counted them. There were 6 sandwiches left in all. Then I counted the number of people in the queue who were ahead of me. Nine!! Damn it!! I called the canteen boy and brought this to his notice. He absent mindedly said that he had already noted this and placed an order for more sandwiches which will take fifteen more minutes to arrive.
I cursed out aloud and left the place. I decided to grab a quick bite at the near by restaurant. Finally at 10:30 a.m., I finally had my breakfast.
It has been more than three hours since I have woken up. Usually I am done with half of my day's work by this time. But today is different. I am having a bad day!!
But the good part is that I have decided to spend the day on my own terms. I will not do any work in office today.
I am feeling better already…
S and G!
I have two friends. S and G!
We are friends since long. Together we have done the craziest of things.
I would like to write about both my friends today.
G is a fun loving, flamboyant, rich, spoilt, always on the move kind of guy. He is from a upper middle class background and is continually on the lookout for fun. He is the ideal party animal. Late nightouts, long crazy drives, booze, speed are his possible hobbies. He is still a bachelor still and proud of it. He is the kind of guy whom you can count on in your bad times. Also you will never get bored in his company due to his witty sense of humor and his wide knowledge. He is usually better versed than you with the latest trends in technology, fashion and especially movies. I have shared a great rapport with him over a considerable period of time. We have changed a lot over a period of time but our friendship is still the same. We have done some pretty crazy stuff together, which I am sure he will acknowledge.
S is a serious (most of the times), responsible, analytical, disciplined (most of the times), big brotherly kind of guy. His is from a middle class background and he is currently settled in a quiet IT job in the Goraland. His plays many roles simultaneously in his life. (Currently he is an ideal brother, a great son and a good husband). He is the idol for every Engineering student and IT professional in India (including me). His idea of having a good time with friends involves booze… a lot of booze. He is awesome when drunk (I remember an incident when he forgot his chappals somewhere after drinkingJ). He has a sharp sense of humor, and his knowledge in the technical field is legendary. Like me he is usually unaware about fashion and movies. The most adorable aspect of this guy is that he is still the same what he was when he met me many years ago. Marriage didn’t change him! Nor did settling abroad!! I am pretty sure he will be the same ever.
As you can make out both these guys are very different from each other. But the very fact that all of us are together despite our differences make our friendship even more fascinating.
We are friends since long. Together we have done the craziest of things.
I would like to write about both my friends today.
G is a fun loving, flamboyant, rich, spoilt, always on the move kind of guy. He is from a upper middle class background and is continually on the lookout for fun. He is the ideal party animal. Late nightouts, long crazy drives, booze, speed are his possible hobbies. He is still a bachelor still and proud of it. He is the kind of guy whom you can count on in your bad times. Also you will never get bored in his company due to his witty sense of humor and his wide knowledge. He is usually better versed than you with the latest trends in technology, fashion and especially movies. I have shared a great rapport with him over a considerable period of time. We have changed a lot over a period of time but our friendship is still the same. We have done some pretty crazy stuff together, which I am sure he will acknowledge.
S is a serious (most of the times), responsible, analytical, disciplined (most of the times), big brotherly kind of guy. His is from a middle class background and he is currently settled in a quiet IT job in the Goraland. His plays many roles simultaneously in his life. (Currently he is an ideal brother, a great son and a good husband). He is the idol for every Engineering student and IT professional in India (including me). His idea of having a good time with friends involves booze… a lot of booze. He is awesome when drunk (I remember an incident when he forgot his chappals somewhere after drinkingJ). He has a sharp sense of humor, and his knowledge in the technical field is legendary. Like me he is usually unaware about fashion and movies. The most adorable aspect of this guy is that he is still the same what he was when he met me many years ago. Marriage didn’t change him! Nor did settling abroad!! I am pretty sure he will be the same ever.
As you can make out both these guys are very different from each other. But the very fact that all of us are together despite our differences make our friendship even more fascinating.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Jannat
Saw Jannat the other day. Its a typical bollywood flick. I liked it irrespective of the reviews.
As in all IH movies, there are some good songs in this movie too.
Must listen: Lambi Judai, Jannat Jahan, Zara sa. All three songs are nice.
As in all IH movies, there are some good songs in this movie too.
Must listen: Lambi Judai, Jannat Jahan, Zara sa. All three songs are nice.
Friday, July 4, 2008
New beginning
After a gap of almost 18 months, I have decided to start my life all over again.
The last time I did it, God didn’t like it. Hopefully I will get through with it this time.
I am not doing this by choice, though the decision is mine. It is not common that hope gets killed. The hope that your life hung upon.
Currently I am in a hole. It was dug by us to plant a tree. Now its too deep to plant the tree in. But a few more inches in and it ll be deep enough to bury me.
So, I seek a new beginning. I do not know where I will reach. I do not know what awaits for me outside, I am not bothered by that. My current goal is to get out of this big hole I have gotten myself into. It is not going to be easy for me, but I will give my best and try not to slip from this path. The temptation of turning back will always be in the way and try to pull me back into the hole. It was a great feeling to imagine the hole as your world. But it is time to set things right. For myself.
I am weaker than what I used to be, but wiser. I am banking on this fact. I hope I am right. A new hope to hang my life on.
This is the moment. This is me. A new me.
The last time I did it, God didn’t like it. Hopefully I will get through with it this time.
I am not doing this by choice, though the decision is mine. It is not common that hope gets killed. The hope that your life hung upon.
Currently I am in a hole. It was dug by us to plant a tree. Now its too deep to plant the tree in. But a few more inches in and it ll be deep enough to bury me.
So, I seek a new beginning. I do not know where I will reach. I do not know what awaits for me outside, I am not bothered by that. My current goal is to get out of this big hole I have gotten myself into. It is not going to be easy for me, but I will give my best and try not to slip from this path. The temptation of turning back will always be in the way and try to pull me back into the hole. It was a great feeling to imagine the hole as your world. But it is time to set things right. For myself.
I am weaker than what I used to be, but wiser. I am banking on this fact. I hope I am right. A new hope to hang my life on.
This is the moment. This is me. A new me.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Under pressure
The following is from a famous song "Under pressure":
Turned away from it all like a blind man
Sat on a fence but it don't work
Keep coming up with love
but it's so slashed and torn
Why - why - why ?
Love love love love love
Insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking
Can't we give ourselves one more chance
Why can't we give love that one more chance
Why can't we give love give love give love give love
give love give love give love give love give love
'Cause love's such an old fashioned word
And love dares you to care for
The people on the edge of the night
And loves dares you to change our way of
Caring about ourselves
This is our last dance
This is our last dance
This is ourselves
Under pressure
Under pressure
Pressure
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Happiness
I experienced happiness today. It was good for a change. I had almost forgotten what it feels like. But the moment it hit me, it came back as a long lost friend.
I shall try and explain what I felt like during those few precious moments of happiness.
As soon as the good news came, my brain stopped functioning and my heart suddenly took control of my body. I will now prove this statement.
Before the good news came in, I was hoping that it would arrive, but my mind was also processing many other things like “what reply would be suitable for this official mail? Man, the stock market is still in red!! Why am I still feeling hungry though I just had breakfast?? What will I do if the news is not positive?”
Bang!!! Sannata as one would describe in hindi. A sudden switch of source to the UPS when the main power is cut off!! The blood which my heart had just pumped ran out warming my body and spreading the message to the other colder parts!!
What happened next was also quite fascinating. A strong force pulled my cheeks and made me smile (even though I didn’t intend to). My computer screen started looking more colorful and my usually irritating cubicle partner in office suddenly seemed like an angel. My life suddenly wasn’t as bad as it seemed. In fact, my life seemed beautiful. No images of the past!! No illusions of the future!! I was enjoying the present.
I tried to get up and walk around, but my legs failed me. I tried to speak, but words failed me too. I decided to silently stay where I was, but it wasn’t possible to curb the feeling. I needed to share this with someone fast!!
I did share it and that is when the feeling reached its pinnacle. It is rightly said that joy increases on sharing!!
Then suddenly the main power came on and the UPS was knocked out. It was again an ordinary world with usual thoughts and worries. “Why haven’t I replied to the mail yet?”
I am rarely devoid of worries related to me, my work, my family, my country, my future, my past, my bills, etc. Hence I shall always cherish those moments because I was enjoying myself in the present and nothing else. That is what happiness does to you. Everything else ceases to exist when it is around!!
I shall try and explain what I felt like during those few precious moments of happiness.
As soon as the good news came, my brain stopped functioning and my heart suddenly took control of my body. I will now prove this statement.
Before the good news came in, I was hoping that it would arrive, but my mind was also processing many other things like “what reply would be suitable for this official mail? Man, the stock market is still in red!! Why am I still feeling hungry though I just had breakfast?? What will I do if the news is not positive?”
Bang!!! Sannata as one would describe in hindi. A sudden switch of source to the UPS when the main power is cut off!! The blood which my heart had just pumped ran out warming my body and spreading the message to the other colder parts!!
What happened next was also quite fascinating. A strong force pulled my cheeks and made me smile (even though I didn’t intend to). My computer screen started looking more colorful and my usually irritating cubicle partner in office suddenly seemed like an angel. My life suddenly wasn’t as bad as it seemed. In fact, my life seemed beautiful. No images of the past!! No illusions of the future!! I was enjoying the present.
I tried to get up and walk around, but my legs failed me. I tried to speak, but words failed me too. I decided to silently stay where I was, but it wasn’t possible to curb the feeling. I needed to share this with someone fast!!
I did share it and that is when the feeling reached its pinnacle. It is rightly said that joy increases on sharing!!
Then suddenly the main power came on and the UPS was knocked out. It was again an ordinary world with usual thoughts and worries. “Why haven’t I replied to the mail yet?”
I am rarely devoid of worries related to me, my work, my family, my country, my future, my past, my bills, etc. Hence I shall always cherish those moments because I was enjoying myself in the present and nothing else. That is what happiness does to you. Everything else ceases to exist when it is around!!
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