Jai Ho!!

A petrol pump next to a coal depot next to a gas cylinder godown.

Just happened to notice this en route to office (Hinjewadi) today. It is a perfect setting of disaster in the making...all you need is a spark... how the hell did the petrol pump (which is relatively new) get permission to hold shop next to a coal depot. Is this legal?

If it is, then lets have a nuclear plant next to the petrol pump!!

Jai Ho!!

Work Experience

We have this guy in office. Lets call him X.

Mr.X holds a postgraduate degree (M.Tech). Mr.X has an overall experience of eight+ years in the telecommunication industry. But, he is the dullest individual in his team. His work output is the lowest, his grades are the worst, his technical knowledge is close to zero, his communications skills are sub zero. All in all he is a liability to his team.

Wondering why i am writing all this? What wrong has Mr.X done to me?

Nothing.... absolutely nothing...

Its just that he has two job offers in his hands right now. Both the companies have urgent openings. Company A badly wants him to join as a manager with a whopping salary package and Company B badly wants him to join as a technical lead with an even more whopping salary package. Mr.X has cleverly pitted A against B and I am sure that he will derive maximum possible gain from the duel.

This makes me think...
Do i really need to work in office and expand my knowledge in a country where only YEARS of EXPERIENCE is considered a benchmark while switching jobs?

Is being at the right place at the right time more important than being more competent?

Whay am I even asking this??? The answer is obvious!!

The answer is Mr.X!!!

Trip to Shirdi and Shani Shingnapur

Shirdi:

We left from Pune around eleven in the night. The total distance to Shirdi is approx 200 km. The roads for most of the part of the journey are very good. To our surprise the traffic was also thin that night. We reached Shirdi at three a.m, which was a good one hour earlier than what we had expected.

After reaching, we checked into a hotel which was very near (walking distance) from the temple. We managed to get a triple sharing room for five hundred bucks. The room was neat and tidy with basic amenities. At around four we left for the temple and within minutes were in the long queue. At four-thirty the early morning aarti (kakad aarti) began. The aarti lasted for forty five minutes, which people in the queue were able to witness due to the live transmissions on the LCD TVs installed everywhere. After the aarti, the queue started moving at a snail’s pace.

By six, our turn finally arrived. We were ushered into the main hall and it was a serene sight. The idol of Sai baba was clad in saffron glittering clothes and the walls are covered in gold. The hall has photographs of people who were close friends and associates of Sai Baba. Before we could soak up the atmosphere, the guards on duty hurried us out. (It’s the same scene in every temple. You wait for hours in the queue but when it’s your turn, it’s over in a matter of seconds.) Once outside, we visited the other parts of the temple. There are samadhis of people who were close to Baba. There is another hall, where Baba used to stay, cook and pray.

Overall it was a pleasant experience and after having tea, we were all set to visit Shani Shingnapur.

Shani Shingnapur:

Shani Shingnapur is approximately fifty km. from Shirdi. We had breakfast (poha+tea) at a roadside dhaba on the way. Once we reached Shingnapur, we were amazed by the number of shops that were selling aarti thalis. Lord Shani is supposedly a very sensitive God and people doing business on his name make sure that the God’ fear is used to their advantage. Our shopkeeper outlined a complicated process to get the maximum blessings out of Lord Shani and to save ourselves from his fury. He ended up charging us an exorbitant sum for the pooja thali and services. We were made to wear a saffron dhoti and take bath before entering the temple (females are not allowed near the Shani idol, though they are allowed inside the temple). Once inside we religiously followed the steps outlined by our shopkeeper and the whole process was over in a matter of minutes. Though I found the temple very serene and peaceful, it was relief to be outside, away from the God of fury.

After a quick change of clothes, we started our journey back to Pune which took roughly three hours.

Sachin's appraisal

Posting another forwarded email that I received.


Congratulations on scoring a double century. Here are the stats:

200 Runs/ 147Balls/ 25X4 / 3X6

Agreed that you have done GREAT……


BUT BUT BUT BUT...


25 x 4s = 100

3 x 6s = 18

It implies that you have made 118 Runs in 28 Balls.


And 12 x 2s = 24

58 x 1s = 58

It means you have means all 200 Runs were scored in only 98 balls

So you have wasted 147-98 = 49 balls

Considering only 1 run scored on each of these balls you could have earned 49 valuable RUNS FOR OUR TEAM



MANAGER’S COMMENT: So you only met the expectations and NOT EXCEEDING (though anyone of our team could not do it) and your rating is 3.

Rahul Dulhaniya Le Jayenge

If cult movies like "Gunda", "Jimmy", "Loha", "Shapath", etc. and legendary shows like "Rakhi Ka Swayamwar", "Sach Ka Saamna", "Kamzor Kadi Kaun" mean anything to you... then you are in luck. "Rahul Dulhaniya le Jayenge" will sweep you off your feet.

I have been following the show for some time now. I will now put forth some interesting facts about the show and the people who are a part of it. But, first the concept:

The concept:

The show has a relatively simple concept. As a participant one has to impress the groom. How simple is that? Well, you are mistaken!! It aint so easy when the groom is judging you on intelligence, attitude, personality, smartness, cooking skills, dancing skills, judo skills, temperament, etc etc… That is the reason only the best looking four contestants have made it to the final level. You know what I mean? ;)

The Groom:

Rahul as the groom comes across as Tushar Kapoor as a gangster (in Shootout at Lokhandwala…). Yeah.. a total misfit!! He is presented as the most eligible bachelor in the country… which is hilarious… in its own wayJ. Right from his laughter to his childish gimmicks (when a participant gives him a rose, his response is…”wah…gulaab..he..haha…hehahah..” and his is excitedly clapping his hands.) to his innocent warm hugs (always followed by the more innocent rubbing of the back) that he offers to the gullible participants..he comes across as a bollywood villain pretending to be a good guy (like Mohnish Behl in Ankhiyon se Goli Maare)..Infact in some scenes he even comes across as mentally challenged.

The prospective brides:

It gets better… dumb, unfit, loud, unfashionable, publicity starved females have been carefully selected keeping in mind Mr.Rahul’s tastes. As quoted by one participant “Rahul, I am in love with you since 10 yrs…and even if you don’t select me, I am sure that ten years down the line I will still be in love with you”..bollywoodish? Yes… except that the acting capabilities of this particular participant wasn’t too good and the dialogue didnt sound too convincing.. result..she was kicked out in the next episode itself. “Rahul you are looking dashing” says another one…as our hero claps his hands and utters his gutteral ha..ha…!! “Rahul, I think I am falling in love with you.. you are one of the best persons that I have met in my life”, “Rahul, you are so down to earth and I love you for that”, “Rahul, I want you to be my partner, not only in this life, but for the next seven lives too”….so on and so forth… which proves that the better you lie, the more your chances of winning the show. It doesn’t end at that. You have to eliminate competition too..”She doesn’t deserve Rahul, she has a past life” “She is too young for Rahul” “She cannot dance, Rahul will definitely not select her” “There is no chemistry between Rahul and her”.. get my point? J

The Show:

Apart from the cuddling, kissing, rubbing, hugging which make up most of the show, the remaining few minutes are spent in delivering scripted dialogues of mutual praise. Our hero not being very good at dialogue delivery, most of his sentences are muted with romantic bollywood music playing in the background, with our hero doing what he does best..using his hands!! A lot of thought has also gone into the tasks that the contestants need to perform. The winner of every task is the object of envy of every other participant. She gets to do, what everyone in the show longs for. She gets to go on a date with Rahul. How cool is that? “You get a chance to date Rahul and spend some quality time with him” says Ram (the host) to the winner, who cannot suppress her happiness and smiling from ear to ear. The others are just standing there giving cold stares to each other.

The dates are usually awesome. The girl gets to select the location and get creative J on the date…”Rahul, I have got a surprise for you.. this book full of our photos that will remind you of me ” while our Hero is staring hungrily at her, looking for an opening to use his hands. Meanwhile “Mehendi Laga ke rakhna” is playing in the background.

There are some guest appearances on the show too. In one particular show, a panditji (with lot of make up and a laptop) made an appearance and tried to match Rahul’s kundali to each of the contestant. Excerpts from the conversation between Rahul and Panditji:

Rahul: Panditji, bacche?

Panditji: Inke saath aapke 2 ladke aur ek ladki ka yog hai

R: he..ha..ha.. Panditji, paisa?

P: Inke saath appke zindagi me bahut paisa ayega..magar kharch bhi jyada hoga..

R: he..ha..he..Panditji, saath nibhayegi?

P: Appke saath yeh har sukh dukh me saath nibhayegi.

R..he..ha…he..ha..

The same questions were asked by Rahul of every participant to which the Pandit replied instantaneously with a click on his keyboard.

Usually, on a normal day, one contestant is eliminated from the show. The punch line used is “Aap Rahul ki Dulhaniya ………… NAHI ban sakti.” or “Aapka safar yahin pe khatam…… Hota hai.” With the typical long-pause effect to create the much needed suspense. The good part comes after the target has been chosen; Mr.Rahul gives an explanation as to why he chose to eliminate a particular contestant. With his bad dialogue delivery and Steven Seagal dead look, he stammers away to glory. The more sensible they try to make it sound the more hilarious it turns out to be.

The Verdict:

The show is in its final stages. Four contestants remain. Rahul will meet every contestant’s family before reaching his decision. THE DECISION, which will crown India’s most unlucky bride!!

Don’t miss the action!!

Every evening at 8, only on NDTV Imagine.

Wonderful message

I read this in the 'Afternoon' around ten years back...


The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.


We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.


We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbour. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.


We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.


These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.


My advice to you is:


Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.


Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.


Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.


Remember, to say, "I love you" to your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and a hug will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.


Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.


AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

New Indian books

I usually pick up books written by Indian authors for my journey from Mumbai to Pune. Mostly I pick up books on an experimental basis and sometimes on recommendations.

Last weekend I bought two books:

Second Degree- Prashant John

The book takes us through one year spent by Prashant in IIM A for a Executive MBA.
Firstly lets talk about the good part:
-The book is well organized.. usually other Indian author books are either hurried or stray from the theme.
-The book gives one an inside view to how things work inside the IIM A campus. Probably the book may appeal more to IIM A students who have actually gone through the same things as described in the book.
-The language used in the book is good. Overall I would say that its very well written.

Now the negatives:
-Though the book is well written, it fails to impress me because there is no major plot in the story. It is in fact a journey with many small sub plots (which are very ordinary and sometimes even boring).
In my opinion Prashant John could make it big if his second book has a more stronger theme or storyline.


Love, Life and Dream On- Animesh Verma

No positives here.. only negatives:
- The book needed some serious editing and unfortunately for Mr.Animesh, the editor didn't go a very good job. The book is full of grammatical and spelling errors.
- Most of the book is full of repetitions. Reading the same thing over and over again every five pages isn't very interesting.
- The writing is below par, the concept is below par, event descriptions are below par, order of events is chaotic, order of dialogues is also chaotic.
- This is easily one of the worst books that I ever read. The only reason I completed it is to write this review.