One of the most difficult things while moving your house is transferring your gas connection. Its a f*#kin painful procedure. This is what happened to me:
Day 1: Early morning 8:30 am
I located the Gas passbook which had the contact numbers of the gas agency. Dialled the first number.. no response. Second number...no response. Again...no response...again ...no response, till I ran out of energy. "They never answer the phone" my mom said.
So, I took my car and drove down to the gas agency office. The office was in a mess and was crowded like shit.. The phones were ringing incessantly, but none of the employees seemed to be bothered.
"I want to transfer my gas connection to a different city" I told the young woman behind the desk, when my turn came.
"Consumer number?" she asked as she fidgeted with the computer keyboard.
"1223223"
A few clicks later. "Account dormant hai, active karana padega"
"How do I do that?"
"Woh saab se poocho..NEXT"
As I stood in the second queue to meet Mr.Saab, I wondered how many hours would it take for me to get to him.
Finally as my turn came, I got straight to the point "Account dormant se active karana hai"
"Ye lo KYC form. Bharke leke aao. Saath me address proof, id proof and photograph leke aana"
"But I am already your customer, why do you need all these proofs again"
"Government se poocho. Unhone rule banaya hai" and he moved to the next hapless customer.
I slowly curbed my anger and decided not to fight and headed home.
Day 2: 8:45 am
As I reached the Gas agency office, I realized that it was closed. I inquired in the shop next to the agency.
"Saab, Second Saturday band rehta hai every month"
I resigned to my fate and headed home.
Day 3: 9.00 am
I prayed to God before stepping out of the house"God, please have mercy on me. Let the office me open today!!" All my documents were ready.
My prayers were answered. The office was open. Again I spent several minutes awaiting my turn.
"Kya kaam hai"
"Dormant se active karana hai"
"KYC form laya hai?"
"Yes"
"Address proof, id proof?"
"Yes"
"Theek hai, 6-7 din lagega account unlock home me" and he handed me a receipt.
10 days later:
"Saab, Account unlock hua kya..number hai.....blah"
"Abhi tak nahi hua hai"
"But aapne to bola tha 6-7 me hota hai, 10 din ho gaya already"
"To mai kya karu? Maine to documents already forward kar diya hai"
"When should I come again to check"
"4-5 dine me aake jao"
4-5 days later:
"Account unlock hua?"
"Number?"
"blahh"
"Ha ho gaya"
"Abhi transfer ka procedure kya hai?"
"woh madam se poocho"
Another queue, another wait for 30 mins.
"Madam account active hai, transfer karna hai"
"original receipt, gas cylinder, regulator leke aao"
"Okay madam"
Next day:
"Madam, I have got the cylinder, regulator n original receipt for transfer"
"OK," she scanned the original receipt and started entering stuff on the computer.
10 mins later, she handed me a transfer receipt and the deposited money.
"Now what is the procedure in the new city"
"Kuch nahi, jaake receipt dikhao, paise deposit karo, ho gaya"
I beamed, as I made my way out of the office...
....little did I know, that the job was only half done!!
Day 1: City2: Morning 9 am.
"Sir, Transfer karana hai. Just moved into this city"
"Kal aao"
"Huh...why?"
"Madam nahi aaya hai aaj"
I was off to a bad start.....
Day2: City2: Evening 3:35 pm
"Sir, madam aaye hai kya? Transfer karna hai connection
"Ha, andar aao peeche se n meet her"
"Hello madam, transfer karna hai"
"Jaldi aane ka Sir. Office band ho gaya hai"
"Bahar to likha hai 8:30 to 4:30"
"Nahi 3:30 tak hi rehta hai, aur subah 10:30 ke baad aane ka"
She clearly meant that her timings were from 10:30 to 3:30. I controlled my anger and walked out.
Next day:Morning 10 am:
"Good morning madam, transfer karna hai"
"Ha, sit down, we ll start at 10:30", she said as she lazily read the local newspaper
At 10.30, she started the computer and indicated me to hand over the papers"
I handed her the transfer receipt.
"Baaki paper?"
"Kaunsa baaki paper?"
"KYC karna padega. ID proof, address proof, photo aur yeh KYC form bharke lao"
"Madam, abhi karwaya tha KYC doosre city me"
"Naya address pe KYC karwana padega"
"Yeh kya rule hai?"
"Yehi rule hai"
I cursed myself for being so dumb and not asking about the list of documents earlier.
Slowly, I headed back home...
Next day: 11 am.
She recognized me "Sab documents laya?"
"Yes madam"
She casually glanced through the documents and then started typing slowly on her computer.
After what seemed like ages, she finished filling up my details and handed me a receipt.
"Maine cylinder ka paisa bhi add kiya hai along with deposit"
"Matlab, cylinder abhi milega?"
"Nahi, aaj gaadi nahi aaya hai. Kal ghar pe bhejti hu. Yeh regulator leke jaao aaj"
"Kitne baje tak ayega?"
"12 baje tak ayega woh"
"Ok madam" I left for home...
Next day:
I waited patiently till 2 in the afternoon, and then called the agency office.
"Consumer number blahh..."
"Ha ..bolo"
"Cylinder book kiya tha, aaya nahi ghar pe delivery"
"Aapne kal booking kiya hai.. 8 dine me ayega"
"Arre, madam ne bola ki aaj ayega"
"kaun madam?"
"Transfer karti hai jo"
"Ruko un se baat karo" I waited for a couple of minutes, before she came on the phone.
"Madam, kal transfer karaya tha na...aaya nahi cylinder"
"Arre..maine to bola tha godown me"
"abhi tak aya nahi"
"Bhaiya..aaj ayega pakka!! dont worry"
But the cylinder didnt reach my home that day..
Next day:
I called up the office. "Chaya madam se baat karna hai"
"Kaun?"
"Madam, woh cylinder nahi aya"
"Kal nahi aaya? Ruko I will call the godown and tell him"
"Should I call you back?"
"Ha 5 min me phone karo"
After 10 mins, I dialed again. "Madam, bola kya aapne godown me?"
"Ha, 2 ghante me ayega"
My blood boiled when the cylinder didnt reach within the next 8 hrs..
I decided to pay them a visit the next day.
Next day:
I reached the agency office and located Chaya Madam.
"Cylinder aya nahi kal bhi"
"Yeh godown wale log ko kitna bhi bola kaam nahi karte barabar"
"Abhi kya karna hai bolo, I need the cylinder"
"Aap godown me jaake apna consumer number bolo, they ll give you the cylinder"
I drove to the godown, and did the needful. The delivery boy threw a cylinder towards me and told me to take it.
I hugged the bloody thing and kissed it as I loaded it into my car.
With a smile on my face, I reached home.
My wife heaved a sigh of relief as we packed up the induction cook top (YEs!!its a pain to cook Indian food on the induction cooktop) and installed the burner.
The heavenly delicious phulkas that day made the whole freakin goddamn experience worth it!!
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