Monday, August 4, 2008

Nonsense

I am staring into emptiness. Zero! I can see, but can’t decipher. My brain is hibernating. Power cut! My hands are moving, my fingers typing. Bullshit! I know what I am writing now is bullshit, but why does everything in the world need to make sense. Why do I have to be sensible always? Is my brain resting? How can I still feel then? Feel the emptiness. Is it possible?
I can feel the rumble in my stomach because of the fucked up food served here. Why do I have to eat this shit? What’s wrong with the fucking air conditioner? It must be him. He must have switched it off. Oh God! What the fuck am I doing here? I hate this place. I hate my job. I hate myself for not being able to do anything about it. I hate everyone around me.
Why now? I don’t feel like working now. Why should I work now? Am I your slave? No, I am not. I won’t work. I care a shit about the work. Really! Does that surprise you? Well it shouldn’t. No one around me cares for the work. I learnt it from them. What if they don’t say it aloud? Everyone here hates work. So why should I not hate it?
Need an axe. Or some gas would do too. Wouldn’t it be fun to see this burn? Up in smoke! Wow… Up in smoke! Gone!! Empty!! Zero!! Would you switch on that air conditioner? Sir, I am talking to you. Yes Sir, you. Bastard, turn on the air conditioner. Ahh.. It feels better now. Thank you Sir. The smoke is gone. It’s better now.
I want to fly. Fly away. To somewhere where I don’t exist. Hmm.. How can I not exist? Oh yeah. My brain needs sleep. It needs deep sleep. An when it sleeps, I wont exist. Is that possible? Well, I have only read about all this, never seen it. Whom do I ask? Anyone out here who can help me? I want peace. Peace of mind! Rest. Sleep. Deep sleep.
God can answer this. Is there God? I mean, is he for real? If he is, I want to meet him. I want to ask him. Where is the power switch? I want to turn it off. Tell me. Would he tell me? I guess he won’t. He is sensible. I am not.
How do I pull the plug?

1 comment:

kulashaker said...

I almost pulled the plug a couple of times in the past. I felt like stading on my desk and saying "Ladies and Gentlemen...what the fuck is going on?"