Kalpesh Thakkar a.k.a Karu Pandey

This post is about one of the most dangerous gangsters (self proclaimed) that Mumbai has ever seen. Kalpesh Thakkar a.k.a. Karu Pandey (his self claimed underworld alias)!

Some years back one of my friends introduced him to me. 5 feet 4 inches tall, he must have weighed not more than 55 kgs. Had my friend not warned me about his trade, I would have mistaken him for a college going boy. He was very friendly and elder brotherly. Within a few minutes of meeting him he bestowed his protective arm over me and said “From now you are my friend. You don’t have to worry about anything. If you face any problems, let me know. I ll take care of it.” I felt blessed at that moment.

From that day onwards, I was blessed. But not in the way I had felt I was. I was blessed to hear some of the most fascinating tales of all times. I shall recount a few. Not even one line presented below is exaggerated.

Once I saw him really sad. I committed the sin of asking him why he was sad. He replied “Kal Vastav dekha. Aisa laga apni life pe story bani hai. Ek ek scene pe rone ho raha tha. End to ganda diya hai, magar apna life ka end isse accha rahega.”

Another time we were together, he started on his own “Kal Maya gaya tha. Maya apna doosra ghar hai. Sab log udhar paise udate hai, magar mai entry mara ki sab ladki paise ko laat maarke mere pass aati hai. X seth ne merko bola ki Karu tere wajah se mera dhanda kharab ho raha hai, tu idhar se ja. Maine ghoda nikala aur X ke sar pe rakhke bola ki X teri ma ki ****. Karu jab chahe jidhar chahe jaa sakta hai aur usko koi nahi rok sakta!”
Maya is a dance bar which was owned by Mr.X, who was a hulk of a man. I imagined him swatting our Karu like a fly. I smiled innocently at Karu and said “Sahi yaar.”

This one was during Ganpati festival. For Karu these ten days were the only days in the year when he would do nothing wrong. No guns, no alcohol, no bad things! Once he was sitting outside the Ganpati mandap looking grim. On seeing me he called me and said “Yaar. Aaj Ganpati bappa ki wajah se do log zinda bach gaya. Mai auto me aa raha tha tabhi ek bike ne auto ko thok diya. Galti bike wale ka tha magar uspe jo do log tha, who rickshaw wale ko marne lage. Mera bheja khisak gaya aur maine dono ko tod dala.Phir ghoda nikal ke trigger dabane hi wala tha ki Ganpati Bappa ki yaad aayi. Maine unko bola ki saalo Bappa ne tum dono ki jaan bachayi hai”

Another time he was really happy and as usual called me and said “XXX builder maloom hai na..uske pass ladke log ko bheja tha ..wasooli ke liye. Usne unko bhaga diya to merko jaana pada. Mai uske office me gaya to usne merko bhi bahar nikalne ke liye guard ko bola. Maine bola ki shayad tumne mujhe pehchana nahi. Usne bola ki kaun haai tu? Maine Bola KARU. Uski phat gayi aur poora pasina ho gaya wo. Bola ki sorry karu bhai, maine pehchana nahi. Maine bola usko accha hua bacche ki tune time pe pehchan liya. Phir usne thanda pilaya aur wasooli ka poora amount chup chap diya”

Once he had a bruise on his face, and I asked him about it. He said “Kal raat ko babloo ka ladka log ek ladki ko ched raha tha. Maine unko roka aur bola ki mere area me lafda nahi chahiye. Magar nahi mana to sab ko tod diya. Tabhi ek ka haath lag gaya face pe. Magar who log sab hospital me hai. Sabko todne ke baad maine ladki ko uske ghar tak choda. Ghar jaane se pehle who ladki ne merko bola Kalpesh I love you!”


These are just glimpses of Mr.Karu’s creativity. There are many more tales that he spun after getting high. I still smile when I remember them.